Suburban Insurgency: January 2009

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Friday, January 23, 2009

The Bush Library......

Can't wait to visit!.....

The George W Bush presidential Library is now in the planning stages and accepting donations. The Library will include:

The Hurricane Katrina Room, which is still under construction.
The Alberto Gonzales Room, where you won't be able to remember anything
The Texas Air National Guard Room, where you don't even have to show up.
The Walter Reed Hospital Room, where they don't let you in.
The Guantanamo Bay Room, where they don't let you out.
The Weapons of Mass Destruction Room, which no one has been able to find.
The National Debt Room, which is huge and has no ceiling.
The Tax Cut Room, with entry only to the wealthy.
The Economy Room, which is in the toilet.
The Decider Room, complete with dart board, magic 8-ball, Ouija board, dice, coins, and straws.

Note: The library will feature an electron microscope to help you locate and view the President's accomplishments.

The library will also include many famous Quotes by George W. Bush:

'The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country.'
'If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.'
'Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.'
'No senior citizen should ever have to choose between prescription drugs and medicine.'
'I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change.'
'One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'
'Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.'
'I have made good judgments in the past.
I have made good judgments in the future.'
'The future will be better tomorrow.'
'We're going to have the best educated American people in the world.'
'One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.' (during an education photo-op)
'Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it.'
'We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.'

Thursday, January 22, 2009

NPR had a very touching story about online communities that are helping Vets with non-covered expenses. We are not talking about a lot of money here - just help to get a new washing machine or to replace a refrigerator or make a mortgage payment for one month.

It's maddening to me that our Vets have to go through this, but I guess nothing has changed since WWI, Vietnam, Korea, etc. Breaks my heart to hear these stories - so go do something.....

Read or listen to the article at NPR: Veterans Turn To Online Strangers For Financial Help

and go check out the list of online organizations that help Vets:

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Comments on the Inauguration.....

...I can’t get enough of the words “Ex-President George W. Bush.” It’s not as nice as “Imprisoned Former President George W. Bush” or “Excommunicated President George W. Bush,” but it will have to do.

...I’m disappointed that Obama rejected the first draft of my inauguration speech, which involved him torching the Bible, lifting up a Koran and yelling, “WHITE PEOPLE, YOU BE FUCKED NOW!!!! AAAAAH-HAAAAAA-HAAAAA-HAAAAAAA!!!!”

...I was kind of hoping that he and Michelle would show up with Angela Davis-caliber ‘fros, and that Flava Flav would come scuttling out to rap the national anthem as the entire audience got up to get down.

...I was waiting for him to turn to the camera, reach under his chin for the edge of the latex, and let the beard spill to the floor, as staffers rushed to distribute the burqas.

...I think the most important question is “where was Obama’s big-ass hat”?

...All I was really interested in was Dubya getting the frick out. My heart swelled with joy when Executive One (the helicopter) lifted off and circled the Mall as the remaining crowds below started singing: nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah hey hey hey goodbye.

...I found myself deeply confused by the speech. Isn’t the new President supposed to officially announce who we are supposed to hate now?